moving like a granny wagon on the autobahn. We find ourselves banging our heads against a wall somewhere thinking... how much longer?!! We can't seem to fill up the moments, even when we have plenty we should be doing, and everything feels like a time warp has set in and we're in an eternal time out for some unknown reason.Then someone flips a switch and things start happening so quickly we can't catch our breath. We just get a hold onto one situation and BAM! it changes, then you think you're getting your bearings when SLAMO! Another ball is thrown into your juggling act. You start regretting all the bad things you said about all those "boring" days when nothing was happening at all. And then finally the smoke clears and the road opens up before you calm and uncluttered with trials.
It happens over and over again like that for me. I truly live in a "when it rains it pours" life. We found out last night that Juliet is not to be ours. But there's nothing we can do about it. You can't force something that is just not going to work out. We did everything we could but I guess God has other plans.
The only reason I'm writing this blog post is because so many of you sweet friends and family were so happy for us. I honestly thought we had waited long enough and that things were safe and laid out in a predictable way so that we could share our joy with you. Unfortunately, in these kinds of situations, there just is no telling what can happen up until the very last minute before the papers are signed and everything is official. Unfortunately we felt we had to explain the sweet little girl who was hanging out at our house and
coming to church with us or we would have waited until that very concrete moment of sure knowledge before letting the world in on the drama.We are sad, of course, but life marches on. I've never been a big fan of letting things that you can't change ruin the future, or even tomorrow. I already have three wonderful children who need me to be their mother and for that I'm more grateful than I can express.
Life is a roller coaster right? And sometimes we can't see the next big loop, but we still love the roller coaster. The over all ride is worth it.
3 comments:
Oh, Jen, I'm so sorry to hear that Juliet won't be staying with you. But I admire your perspective and although I know you are sad now, it all happens for a reason and the right situation will come along. Take care!
Oh Jen. I have been thinking about you every day... and it took me this long to finally check back in on you. You are such an amazing woman. You have the gift of perspective. Much love, Elizabeth
I didn't know. I'm sorry, Jen.
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